Dammit! Where's my chocolate?

Advice from a math teacher with a red pen.

I want you on my Christmas tree,
as a warning to anyone else who thinks store decorations in October are “festive.”

I want you on my Christmas tree,

as a warning to anyone else who thinks store decorations in October are “festive.”

Sure, I’ll show you proof of my disability
as soon as you show me your
asshole placard.
Oh wait - no need.

Sure, I’ll show you proof of my disability

as soon as you show me your

asshole placard.

Oh wait - no need.

The devastation has returned…will you survive?
(Zombie Pumpkin Spice Latte is BACK!)
(More WAAALLETS!)

The devastation has returned…will you survive?

(Zombie Pumpkin Spice Latte is BACK!)

(More WAAALLETS!)

After decades of research,
scientists have finally discovered what the top sheet is for.

After decades of research,

scientists have finally discovered what the top sheet is for.

Petrichoir (n)
When the scientist finally teaches those little bugs to sing.

Petrichoir (n)

When the scientist finally teaches those little bugs to sing.

Inner peace begins the moment you choose to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
Specifically, me.
- The Red Pen

Inner peace begins the moment you choose to allow another person or event to control your emotions.

Specifically, me.

- The Red Pen

If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends.
If an egg is broken by an inside force, then life begins.
If an egg is broken by an invisible force, then Darth’s making breakfast.

If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends.

If an egg is broken by an inside force, then life begins.

If an egg is broken by an invisible force, then Darth’s making breakfast.